It was not that he did anything special. He simply was. We simply were. We were living in the moment in a way that I had never managed before. Nothing else mattered. Even after we parted and returned to our normal lives, the spell held. I did not notice or care about troubles at home or work anymore -- the peace I felt helped me make peace with other areas of my life. I could also see him becoming more optimistic about his life.
I waited impatiently for his first visit to my hometown. When he was with me, I felt strong and he felt the same. We could talk for hours and we understood each other’s pain and fears.
We talked about the past, the present and our future together. He wanted to meet my parents, for me to meet his child. He said I was his family.
Even though I had never dreamed of getting married, I started to imagine our life together. Our days together flew by and, when he left, I was already planning for his next visit.
Over the course of our romance, there were some challenges, but we seemed to overcome them so easily. He had been married to a foreign woman before – ironically, she and I shared some common ethnic roots. I knew this was a problem for him, he had already confessed that the thought of another failed marriage, the possibility of having a child in a foreign country, scared him. But it was never an issue for me and I thought we had moved past it.
In addition, the fact that I was foreign was a real concern for his mother, who worried that, once again, her grandchildren would be living far from her. He had tried at first to hide the fact he had a child, out of fear I would reject him. But I didn’t mind, it wasn’t an issue for me.
Everything seemed fine.
Until he started postponing his visit. With each delay, I could feel the fear growing inside of me. As the excuses piled up, I began to think he didn’t even want to come. It was more than just his changing plans: I felt like I was the only one trying to make our relationship work.
At some point, I got fed up and I broke up with him. He seemed upset, but he didn’t do anything to try and change my mind.