This apartment is the “container” of my days now, half physically here and half digitally immersed elsewhere. I have a couple of favorite spots so far where I hang out.. the bed where I sit or lay, facing up or down, eyes open or closed, is where my body is at ease, where I let go and flow through multiple screens, visiting loved ones, having long conversations, drawing their faces, I wander around in chat rooms and private libraries. My body lets me know when I'm tired, the sounds of the room seem to amplify, I'm back where the sun hits my skin. I have to water the plants.
The hallways of the student residency building are empty most of the time, people here tend to stay in I guess. I miss the streets, the noise and my neighbors of Santiago, maybe that's why I like to go out in my pink robe, have my coffee and a cigarette while looking around. I say hi to the couple of folks I know here, just Juan, Damasen and Ana, no Danish friends so far. During the morning the sun--when it's out, which is not not often--feels so nice there.
I realised that life hasn’t changed much for me, isolated or not. I used to spend lots of time in my room anyway. Isolation didn't change the struggle of living in another country very much; it just reduced the opportunity to know more people and places.
I created this wearable dress project in my room in Brazil, and to be dressed in it in Denmark is proof that this has paid back all my investment on it: I'm here in computer mediated times, turning myself into a cyborg. I'm bringing this wearable dress to life again so I can remember who I am in this quarantine: the nerd girl who is used to enjoying time for herself.
It doesn't bother me to be isolated away from home but the fact is that this pandemic is getting to a dangerous point back home, and I am worried about my parents who are in the high risk category.
I have realized that I can find pleasure in tiny things - and how fragile our world is and has always been. To cope up, I mostly cook, talk to my family back home, and meet friends that I have access to. Cooking helps me a lot, as does watching nice films.Looking up recipes, excited to find tastes similar to those back home, I have found a good friendship in Proiti and I feel home, thanks to this space that we have of cooking, eating and watching something.
The quarantine reminded me that I already was in the lockdown even before these days. It was not more different than so-called normal days. After traveling around the world, I realized how much I kept my thoughts in quarantine because of moving to a new country. I think we have already experienced the desires/needs of staying far from people, while they surrounded us. The quarantine crisis gave me this chance to think more about my fears and mental quarantine, and now it is embedded physically in my daily life. Drawing, as a way of visualizing my thoughts, helps me to find/navigate myself to keep moving forward, instead of immersing. Fortunately/unfortunately, human beings always adapt themselves with new situations, but mentally? It takes more time.
When the quarantine started, I experienced a feeling of relief-I would finally have more time to get everything done and be able to concentrate better on personal things. There have been days when it went quite well but there have been others when I felt rather sad, even depressed, due to the isolation. For me, the best way to cope with the stress these days is to have a small diary where I can focus on my thoughts and work with them. I write imaginative letters and notes to myself and that is indeed one beautiful thing. Staying in closer touch with my family and those closest to me always gives me a warm feeling and a sense of home wherever I go.